Processes of Revolution
by Ian Yuy
Summary: From friend to foe, Luc goes from a pessimistic apprentice to a powerful madman. What happened in the fifteen-year span of time between the wars? A thirty-two year-old Luc illustrates the events that changed him. 9-15 - Ch. 4 uploaded, 2 and 3 reformated
1. Prologue

Sometimes it feels as if the darkness will swallow you whole.  
  
It assimilates you in the vacuum of its dark silence, gradually wrapping around your every being. Your breath sputters out in gasps, the black cloth at your throat squeezing ever so slightly yet wringing out the lifeblood indiscriminately with the clouded oil. The lack of blood freezes your thoughts in place while bringing a vague enlightenment to the situation at hand. That is when you escape the blackness, shredding the hands from your body in fits of fear and panic. However, when you finally stand alone, you still bear the traces of dark stains cohered to your skin. The void has not left, you know, it lingers in the back of your mind waiting for another bout of weakness when it may return. Such pestilence can drive an individual mad and reduce him to a blubbering fool. The world has no place for those tainted souls; thus, they are crumpled up and dumped into the world's trash can. They have no chance to pass their warning on to the fresher souls; and so, the cycle continues.  
  
I will not allow myself to become this way.  
  
I have spent thirty-two years in a cloth-covered cage, faintly being able to see the outside world. The grass was not greener, I realize now, yet it had seemed that way to my young deprived mind. A utopia existed beyond my prison, perfection where one could think what they wished without hindrance. To be unstitched from invisible chains. it was inconceivable! Until the second war, my ignorance and self-assurances plagued me. When my eyes finally opened unmasked by immaturity, I viewed the horrors of battle for what they were. At that point, the revelation came to me: none of us were free at all. Those damnable fates played with us as if we were pieces in a friendly chess game amongst the gods. My tolerance thinned with the frequency of gullible people tossing around the word "destiny" as if it were a household item.  
  
I was no one else's dog, regardless of what my rune insisted, nor would I allow the rest of humanity to be treated the same.  
  
The moment I returned to Magician's Island, I sought out my master and spat my disapproval of this quest. "Stars of Destiny, you say? I don't care what you call the game, I want no part of it!"  
  
No more of these inane crusades, I would be party to a greater purpose no longer.  
  
"What will you do, my child," the seer had asked me one day.  
  
I then halted my sweeping, holding onto the broomstick thoughtfully for a moment before I responded simply, "Whatever must be done."  
  
"Don't be mistaken," she whispered, "everyone has the power to change his or her destiny. We are not bound by fate."  
  
I scowled at her with my russet eyes and resumed my chores, unconvinced yet without reason enough to continue arguing.  
  
My stubbornness would pay off soon enough, awakening my senses to the previously unseen. Since as far back as I could remember, fragments of images and faint nightmares haunted my mind yet were too vague for me to interpret. With each day that passed, however, these visions came to me clearer and clearer as if a fog had lifted in my head. I was not able to process the information I was receiving until it arrived to me whole during my slumber.  
  
I dreamt a world devoid of scent, color, sound and movement, not quite dead but not nearly alive. It was existence in its purest form.  
  
I was on Magician's Island, it seemed, as there in front of me was the tower and on the path around me was the towering columns weathered and worn. Nevertheless, I did not believe it... The island had never been this dead with the absence of spring bird's songs and the crashing of water upon the pebble-strewn shores. My true rune explained the war between dharma and chaos and labeled this horror the "absolute world."  
  
The apprentice of Leknaat died that night and Luc awoke the next morning. Now I had the justification for change--no, revolution--and only needed to devise a plan to save humanity. 


	2. Investigation

======= INVESTIGATION (and the toils thereof)

The mental images reoccurred frequently in the midst of my chores, restoring my confidence in the rune's words. The more I envisioned what was to be, the quicker I became in my work, a rare eagerness to study arising in my character.

When I had finished my duties, I avoided passing by my lady's chamber when I put away my tools. The blind woman may have had good intentions in mind, but she concerned herself with my activities far more than I enjoyed.

I scuttled along the tile floor as quickly as possible, softly tapping down the spiral staircase until I reached the library. Allowing myself the patience, I closed the door slowly and let it shut with a barely audible click. This was all the discretion I needed, trotting across the room loudly before stopping in front of the towering bookcases. Or, rather, bookcase.

I found myself scowling, displeased, at the meager selection of materials. Teleportation, creature summoning, history…

"Ugh," was my intelligent response.

The reflection of my annoyance shone clearly in the recently cleaned floor, which I abruptly stomped on like a little child. A chair beside a table in the center of the room suddenly beckoned to me and I answered the call, dropping languidly onto it and sprawling my upper body across the hard wooden desk.

A sigh, then a curse.

"I must find a larger resource," I explained to my reflection on the desktop.

As if waiting for a suggestion, I fell silent for some time before noticing the open book sharing my table at only an arm's-length away. Curious as always, I pulled the textile over, closing it to read the cover.

__

Harmonia, a History of the Holy Land.

For a moment, I stared. Then another moment passed. Finally, I shook my head in defiance and growled to the obvious sign, "No."

A sharp pain coursed through my body, originating from my right hand. Yes, the rune seemed to argue.

I gritted my teeth, "Damn."

With an announcement to my teacher that I was leaving the island (and many assurances of staying out of trouble), I soon arrived in the humming, exhaustingly large city of Crystal Valley. Had I never seen the area before, the towering white buildings and excessive water features might have impressed me, or I may have gawked at the immense image of the Circle Palace in the distance. The only emotion I did allow across my features was that of disgust, making it a point to spit at the ground openly before attempting to locate the book house. 

Ah, there. I had spotted it just where it had always been, south of the central square, across from the academy…

"Dear, are you lost? 'Tis a big city, indeed," asked a woman. She was a relatively aged woman who gripped my shoulders as if I would suddenly run off, making me feel highly uncomfortable.

"No, get off me," I growled, shoving her away indiscriminately. She recoiled at my action, perhaps hurt or perhaps stunned. Nevertheless, I did not care and I had already dismissed it.

__

Wherever you go, I heard my mistress's voice replaying in my head_, do not stir up a mess or trouble anyone else, is that clear? I do not want a reenactment of that last incident…_

Succumbing to her orders, I turned to console the kind woman, only to find her gone within the crowd of traveling magicians and busy temple workers. "……"

It was only then, standing in silence briefly, did I notice the odd glances from passersby. I would have smacked myself in the forehead, if it had befitted my character. Why would they not stare? My attire was hardly Harmonian, _green_ amongst a nation of blue, and my dark hair and eyes did not help the least bit. My presence reeked of everything that was foreign and, despite my intentions, I stood out from the rest of the travelers with my brash behavior and dominating glare. If I did not wish to be caught as a fugitive by the temple, I had to blend back into the populace

Therefore, I tried. I removed my tiara for the time being and followed the pebbles in the pathway with my eyes, shrouding my face in hair as I roamed the path exiting the square. As I was already aware of the library's whereabouts, looking ahead of me was not as important as hiding my identity. Of course, I did not think that I might bump into someone.

"Urk--!"

The tiara symbolizing my apprenticeship clattered to the ground and I faltered backwards a couple paces. When I recovered, I quickly reached for my headpiece only to see a pale hand and flowing blue sleeve retrieve it first. "Give that back, that is m-" was my instinctive response that fell silent as my gaze ghosted upwards. My eyes traced up the arm to its shoulder and then to the head belonging to my attacker and apparent thief.

Destiny's rook had just taken my knight in the perfect setup that I had carelessly overlooked.

Evidently, I stood before a mirror. Oddly enough, my reflection wore robes of blue and black with white trim, crowned with a large blue… mushroom?

I was not fooled; the rune screamed messages to my brain that I should have sensed long before he stood in front of me. My brown eyes narrowed as his offending hand extended in my direction, offering his bounty.

"Sasarai." The word came out a hiss, dripping with venom as if it had indeed come from a serpent.

Here I was in the largest metropolitan town on the continent, albeit the headquarters of all that was holy, and being recognized out of hundreds concerned me more than running into… into him?

He smiled; he dared to smile at such a time! "I believe you dropped this," he stated as if discussing the weather with an associate.

Indignantly, I snatched the accessory from his grasp and refastened it around my head. His expression remained benign regardless of my glares and it only infuriated me more.

"What brings you to Harmonia, thief?" He sneered, dusting off his hand as if he has been handling soil. Regardless of his tone of voice, his expression never broke the facade of kindness.

__

Appearances, my mind grunted.

"Why ever should you care," I, on the other hand, had no problems displaying my emotions for everyone's viewing pleasure, "reduced to lowly bounty hunting, _your holiness?_"

Sasarai did not seem to enjoy my attitude and his features darkened with a narrowing of his eyes.

He hissed quietly in response, "Let's have tea."

Before I could protest, he had already seized my arm and ushered me onward.


	3. Complication

+++ COMPLICATION: Family Ties (also known as crime and punishment).

If my mistress had foreseen that moment, yet failed to inform me ahead of time, then she was crueler than I had previously speculated.

I had no intention of being there. I had no intention of staying.

But, I did.

By some star-forsaken curse, I seemed unable, or unwilling, to leave my chair.

A very nice chair it was, might I add, polished mahogany accented in delicately carved trim and a soft scarlet pillow seat. The nice, yet cursed, chair matched a table I was sitting at, along with the seat's twin on the other side. The one that just so happened to occupy _my_ twin. Between us, an expensive and fragile-looking tea set beaconed from the center of the table.

Sasarai was periodically nursing the liquid in his cup while I had allowed mine to grow cold.

Not that I would have had a chance to drink it anyhow with these incessant questions...

"Leknaat still provides astrological guidance for Toran?"

I did not bother to look at him; I had felt his eyes on me even when I stared at myself reflected in the dark beverage.

"She stopped after the Gate Rune war." _You might have known that if you actually concerned yourself with something other than your kingdom._ A rare occurrence of tact possessed me and my thoughts remained unspoken.

He must have nodded, I assumed, and took a sip of tea before he stated plainly, "I see."

A few minutes drew by in silence. _Finally ..._ I raised the teacup to my lips only to set it back down, wrinkling my nose at its temperature. Instead, I passed the time intriguing myself with the grains in the wooden table.

After a few seconds, my patience gave out and I turned my gaze to him. "Why did you bring me here?" I did not allow him to answer before throwing another question at him, "Why are you being _nice_ to me? You could have me arrested and most likely boost your political status."

When he did not answer or even seem to acknowledge my speaking, I stood up hastily and slammed my hands on the table top, shaking the porcelain drink set. No words or curses escaped my mouth, I had felt no need for it; my furrowed eyebrows and gritted teeth spoke loudly enough.

With a small _clink_, Sasarai placed his cup onto its saucer and raised his head to look at me. His expression was calm and collected, almost foreign compared to the priest I had met on the battlefield months before. As if I was a child, he regarded me with soft discretion. Something in his dark eyes, physically identical yet emotional opposites of mine, compelled me to return to my seat and relaxed my nerves.

"You are Luc, apprentice and servant of Leknaat the Seer."

I had to raise an eyebrow. What was this all about? "Thank you for reminding me," was my sardonic reply.

He merely continued, unphased by my comment. "I am Sasarai, High Priest-General of Holy Harmonia."

I did not bother to grace him with another comment.

"We have nothing at all in common, aside from being True Rune bearers. But there is something more between us, isn't there?"

Silence weighed down on my shoulders and threatened to crush me, but I did not dare to break it. Something? There was quite more than something. The fact that despite all that has occurred between the two of us, he had no memory of any of it, and that had angered me deeply. I hated this boy, for reasons now _I _forgotten, but nevertheless, the past was what it was and I secretly cherished it for what it had been. For him to have allowed himself to forget, either with the passage of time or even means beyond his control, was unforgivable.

My anger emitted through the silence like steam from a kettle, and he must have noticed. His eyes seemed more pressing as ever and he insisted, "Isn't there?"

"Of course there is," I growled through clenched teeth.

"Tell me."

Those two tiny, meaningless words had contained much more than they let on. As they reached my ears, emotions popped inside me, many of which I had not believed I was capable of feeling. Memories rose from their deep hibernations and flickered behind my eyelids involuntarily.

My eyes squeezed shut, but it only enhanced the images. The rune in my hand prickled the tips of my fingers.

Quickly, I reopened my eyes to shut off the visions. However, many still lingered and as I stared at the young brunette priest in front of me -- eyes full of concern and curiosity -- another image fell neatly into place within my vision.

An odd feeling aroused inside me then, my stomach turned as I watched his mouth move to speak, but the voice was sadistically much younger and saccharine than normal.

"Oii... Nii-chan...?"

The table flipped over, sending the teacups to the clapboard floors in a resounding clash of shattered pieces. Wood hit wood with loud _thunks_ when the chair fell as well, pushed over by my sudden movements. I stood with my back to Sasarai, holding my head tightly so no further memories would escape to haunt me once more. My eyes remained open, wide and alert in fear like a panicked animal. I could feel the stares of other customers inside the Harmonian café, of the shocked priest and others inside my head. All of them, all staring at me.

__

Stop it. Go away.

"... Go away..." I whispered weakly, unsure if I had been speaking to the stares, to Sasarai or to the past.

The blue-clad figure approached me from the front; a hesitant concern plastered on his features, "... Luc?"

"GO AWAY!"

I threw out my hand and struck the boy before my mind had caught up with the rest of my body. The moment I was able to process the fact I had smacked a high ranking clergy member (in a kingdom of which I was a wanted man, no less), my lips had already moved far too long.

"I don't want your blood, not any of it! You betrayed me long ago, all of you. I will not be the puppet you have become! ...You sick bastard, stop calling me Nii-chan!" I swung to raid the young Sasarai from my sight; however, the older one dodged my clumsy attack.

He continued to stand there, regardless. His large, piercing brown eyes regarding me with fear.

I returned the stare with fogged, distorted mirrors for eyes. The line between memory and reality had crumbled and I was not sure if the voices were from within or outside my head.

"Nii-chan?"

"S-stop..."

"Stop what, Nii-chan?"  


"Calling me that..."

"But you're my Nii-chan."

"... You don't understand... I'm not..."

"But that's what you call me, isn't it?"

I wrinkled my tiny nose and huffed at the young boy, identical to myself apart from clothing. This only caused him to smile and tilt his head to the side like he had always done. However, I did not let it get to me this time.

"I call you Nii-chan because that's what you are but it doesn't work the same way for you."

"Why not? We're twins, silly."

"Yes, but..."  


"You think too hard."

I stared at the seven-year-old as if he had spoken a foreign language, "You can never think too hard."

  
"Yes huh. You're always talking about how people are doing things bad, Lord Hikusaak says you think too much."

At the mention of the cursed name I furrowed my eyebrows and glared the best way a child could, showing my blatant disapproval of his statement. "Hikusaak is a nut."

"Nii-chan!"

"An evil nut."

"There you go again! Stop that, Lord Hikusaak loves us!"

For the first time I had been able to recall, I allowed my childish anger to better my sense of reason and I left a painful mark on the boy's cheek with my bare hand.

"How can you even say such a thing...!"

Sasarai stared back in horror, holding his wound comfortingly as tears welled up in the corners of his large eyes.

My hand had not left the position it had been at the end of the swing, and it was then that my vision achieved clarity. Even as reality replaced the fog in my eyes, the same child stared back at me, yet with older eyes and a lighter mark on an aged face. His eyes did not seem as if they were to become faucets, but still held the decency to look hurt.

Why did this hurt you? Am I not your enemy...?

__

I will not be the puppet you have become!

"I... I must leave..."

"Luc," the priest pressed on. He must have seen himself a mediator, a psychiatrist to this obvious madman.

When his comforting hand extended towards my space, a newly developed (which would soon become staple) dead glance warded him away. At that moment, I packaged the several occasions of blood spilt from my thin wrists, relentless nightmares berrating my slumbering soul, the suffocating loneliness that had consumed my late childhood; I folded all the emotions up into a single, piercing, dominating glare. While my eyes conveyed much, the rest of my expression remained dead, as lifeless as I had become over the course of ten years. I was not sure at that moment if I had come off as a zombie, positioned ready to assault the fresh body before me; or, as an assassin, warning my prey of his imminent demise.

"There is something between us." My eyes continued to level him from within the shield of my hair. I allowed a moment of silence to pass on before walking forward and continuing. "You were once my brother. Now, you are nothing more to me than a memo on my mirror or a blister upon my foot. A constant, painful reminder of what was, what could have been and what shall never be." I lifted my head up and brushed back my locks behind my ears so that the boy would not miss any detail, "As if my rune were not enough, just the sight of you summons memories to my mind that I could do without recalling. Ten years! Such a short period of time and to you I have already become little more than a criminal in the books of the Holy church.

But, do not be mistaken... I care little now. I would not weep a single tear if you were to fall of the edge of the planet tomorrow."

Sasarai intelligently took a step back from me, his face betraying his emotions. Confusion and fear washed over his expressions as large brown eyes widened even further and his dark eyebrows knitted together.

I moved passed him in an almost forced manner and managed to drag my feet to the doorway of the café before glancing back.

"Goodbye, my wonderful elder brother."


	4. Foreigner

A/N: You wouldn't believe me if I told you Sarah isn't exactly one of my favorite characters. I try to remain objective (otherwise this would be a Luc/Sasarai yaoi fiction o.x...) when portraying these sorts of things... So, don't throw rotten paopu fruits at me for not having Luc bashing Sarah's head in (like we all would like to do, I'm sure).

========== FOREIGNER (and the resulting accommodations)

Evidently, my lady did not find out about the incident that occurred in Harmonia.

It had been nearly a week before she had even spoken to me apart from dictation of chores.

I had remained mostly in my chambers, lying within the embrace of my cool sheets as emotions and memories stirred inside me. As often was the case, whenever someone mentioned Sasarai's name, I could not help recollecting our past and it had always put me in a sour mood. So naturally, when my mistress stepped into my quarters, I did not regard her as well as a student should.

"Hn."

"...Luc? Are you feeling ill? It is not healthy to stay within the confines of these walls; the sunlight is essential to all living beings, my son..."

"I'm fine," quickly throwing the covers off my pajama-clad body, I sat up rather stiffly, "I am fine. What is it, my lady?"

"Come... to the main hall. I will explain on the way. Oh, and do try to comb that hair of yours. Not very becoming, I would say."

"Yes, yes..."

"Let me see if I had understood you correctly... You have obtained a child? A child that you plan to not only house _permanently_, but intend to teach as well?"

The _tap-tap_ of my bare feat resounded louder against the marble steps as I attempted to keep up with the seer. While I had the decency to comb my hair, the matter was hardly worth my time to change into 'more suitable attire.'

"That... is what I wished to discuss with you."

The blind woman halted at the end of the staircase, turning to face me. Her features remained calm as always, yet perhaps more cautious then before. Patiently, she waited for me to descend the last few steps before shortening the distance between us.

"You are growing into a such a fine young man..."

I was unsure of what she was pursuing and I did not like what the phrase seemed to insinuate. Raising a thin brow, I snorted, "If you think I intend to do anything to deflower this child, then you have evaluated my nature incorrectly."

"...And you have learned many things from not only my teachings, but also your own experiences."

Well. It had seemed as if she was saying something else at the time...

"What are you trying to say?"

"I could not handle another apprentice. That is why I would prefer it if she was... _your_ student."

It had certainly not been anything I had expected, so it took a few moments before I was able to conjure a response. "Why? How am I qualified for this? I do not work well with others."

"She is not unlike you. Only _your_ experiences could teach her many things, lessons the greatest academy could not teach. ...Please do take some time to consider this, Luc. If not for me, then for the child's sake."

With that, Leknaat shifted her direction away from me and opened the large doors at the end of the staircase. The wider the opening became, more of the main hall became visible. Much like the rest of the tower, the walls were a serene white, trimmed with elaborate designs at the baseboards. The foyer itself was rather bare, containing no more than doors to other chambers and the exit from the tower. However, one more object took up space in the hall that day than normal. A small child donned in a cerulean dress trotted curiously about the atrium, taking little glimpses into forbidden rooms. Her hearing must have been astute, or she was more cautious than she let on, for she immediately shut the door she had left ajar. Quickly turning around, her wide blue eyes announced her nervous state.

"Come here dear, come here," Leknaat stepped towards the middle of the room as she motioned the girl over, "I wish for you to meet a new friend."

At that moment, I could not understand why the child seemed so terrified. My stomach twisted into a knot, as it seemed she was regarding _me_ with such fear. (And I hardly considered myself threatening, wearing nothing more than a thin shirt and a pair of green and white striped shorts.)

Her trembling figure was reminiscent of my own first arrival to the Magician's Tower. Instead of the blonde girl, I now could imagine an older, albeit still young, brunette boy. His royal garb was scuffed and torn and his fingers played absently with the oversized jacket cuffs. Delicately examining his surroundings, the whelp placed one small foot in front of the other in a quiet, calculating manner. He slunk across the entrance hall before stopping abruptly before a partly open door, hearing two voices drift through the air.

"Why would you do such a thing? Are you trying to start a war against Harmonia?" The voice was decidedly feminine, yet he could not place it.

"... I merely wished to save the child." Now he noticed the airy cadence as that of his captor and responded with a step back. Fearful of her perhaps seizing him a second time, he stamped across the room to further distance himself from the lady in white. The center of the hall became his hiding place as he crouched down and covered his dark eyes, feeling as safe as an ostrich.

"No need to be afraid, Sarah. He will not hurt you, I assure you."

Blinking a few times, I was able to refocus on the Sarah-toddler I had forgotten in the midst of my memories. Slowly, almost hesitantly, she tiptoed forward. Her fingers wove around each other anxiously and her eyes could not bear to peel away from the floor. Iridescent platinum blonde locks fell across her face in an attempt to form a barrier of protection from the unknown she was seemingly about to encounter. Yet, with every _swish_ of her dress and _clink_ of her shoes, I could sense her childlike curiosity to glance up, yet too afraid of what monsters may confront her if she did so. I _knew_ what it was she was feeling... the terrifying loneliness of being thrust into a strange world and forced to adapt. I was able to imagine the young Lucas approaching his new mistress, filled with an immature turmoil of contempt and confusion. Of being torn from a familiar existence and the only life one had known, and having to toss away the past to start anew -- completely alone. It was nearly unbearable to part from an identifiable adult for even a brief time and perplexing to a youngster to do so forever. I recalled wanting nothing more than to sob, kick, and scream until I awoke next to my Nii-chan, even if the possibility became more distant as time passed. Part of the reason for my distaste for my elder brother had come from the horrors of adjusting to my new life, and the last thing I wished at that point was for anyone else to suffer the same.

"Sarah..." I whispered quietly.

Upon hearing her name, she glanced up at us both. The panic in her features only augmented when I came closer and knelt down to her eye level. With each twinge of fright and every wince of fear, someone clenched at my heart -- an organ I had not known I had even possessed at that point. The strong urge to calm and assuage anyone's soul had been absent since my childhood and now with its sudden awakening, I felt just as fearful as she did. Not many had considered me someone who cared about anything or anyone else before, that was for sure. That did not mean I was about to march to Rokkaku village and hand Sasuke a bouquet of forgiveness flowers because of this sudden revelation. Nor did I intend to leave this child to suffer such as I had, so I did what I felt was right and took a small, shaking hand into mine.

"Sarah. My name is Luc."

Shocked, her eyes did not tear away from our hands and eventually the terror drained from her pale skinned face. While her eyes still contained traces of discretion, I felt an adequate amount of acceptance from the tiny squeeze of her fingers.

"S-so... you're my new friend?"

"... Yes, yes I am."

For the first time in a large span of my life, a warm feeling of... _happiness_ swelled in my chest as the four-year-old girl turned her face up with a toothy smile. I had done something right for once and as I looked at my lady, she seemed pleased as well.

__

Perhaps this will not be as horrid as I had prior imagined.


End file.
